Constantine Maroulis takes it on the double chin
Did the Village Voice slam Constantine Maroulis in their recent piece or did he slam himself? Either way - This Is Constantine Maroulis. He Wishes You Knew That. - is one of the funniest articles we've read in months. This guys ego, sense of entitlement, and hipster lifestyle are off the hook..
"After the 31-year-old rocker finished fixing his hair, even fluffing the hairs on his chest a bit with the blow-dryer, he sprayed a coat of Axe deodorant all over his torso"
"'I've paid my dues.' That is a phrase Maroulis employs often to explain that he is not a loser like the other American Idol losers. He believes the show merely helped him achieve the kind of success he deserved and would have perhaps reached on his own"
"'It's fucked-up,' Maroulis went on. 'You put Scott Savol's poor overweight kind of white-trash family on there stirring the spaghetti and some ketchup and all of a sudden you get, like, half the country's votes. That's just the way it is.' Savol beat out Maroulis and entered the top five before being eliminated."
Idol worship
American Idol idiot savant
Katharine McPhee is Katie Holmes' doppelganger
More hilarious quotes and photos below...
"As he prepared to leave, he looked one more time at the only photo that decorated his otherwise nondescript dressing room—of Maroulis standing with his arm around a pudgy middle-aged woman, the fan who sent the photo to him. He smiled a little as he looked at it, as though it reminded him of those who found pleasure in standing next to a real live star."
"Maroulis is always the last cast member to leave the Al Hirschfeld Theatre on West 45th Street to sign autographs for fans. But he at last finished with his post-show primping and was ready to face his adoring public. At the bottom of the stairs he paused, took a deep breath, and said, "All right, let's go for it." He then stepped out onto the sidewalk and stopped for a moment as about 100 women and girls screamed his name and pushed to get closer to the metal barricade. Women held their playbills out to be signed and snapped his photo. Patiently Maroulis looked into every camera with either a straightforward grin or his famous American Idol pout, a sort of puppy-dog look that involves tilting his head down, gazing up with his brown bedroom eyes, and sticking out his bottom lip."
"Maroulis was looking at photos of himself online and complained that unauthorized shots of him taken by a Broadway photographer were being circulated. This was driving him nuts because they accentuated what he considers to be his double chin. 'It's so annoying to see it again and again and know you could have controlled it,' he complained to Hamboussi. 'How does someone like Angelina Jolie deal?'"
"'I mean, whatever,' Maroulis said as he took a drag off the joint, 'if people think that's so terrible that I like, ooo . . . took a puff off a little joint. You know, I'm a fucking artist.' "Bill Clinton did it," Hamboussi said and simultaneously laughed hysterically and coughed. At around midnight, the two left the apartment after Maroulis sprayed it heavily with Lysol air freshener.
"Throughout the night Maroulis checked his BlackBerry about every six to seven minutes, sometimes just pulling it out to look at it and then putting it back in his leather jacket. In fact, almost everyone in his group had a BlackBerry or some kind of BlackBerry-esque device. At various intervals the table fell silent because everyone was checking their messages. "
Read the whole fabulous piece... This Is Constantine Maroulis. He Wishes You Knew That.
Photos via MTV, Getty Images, and Christina Radish
